There once was a President Trump

​​​There once was a Prez know it all
An ace with his eye on the ball
The funk of his smarts
Like mute feisty farts
Ignited a nationwide brawl​​​

There once was a POTUS from Oz
A tin man long grasping at straws
His fib fest washed clean
Till Covid-19
When even the scarecrows gave pause

There once was a Prez less than wily
A coyote who chased his foes vilely
Like a cartoonish scamp
Chewing ass like a champ
He licked his wounds ever so slyly

There once was a Prez of dead air
In blackouts beyond all repair
He chined with precision
His watchdog excision
Of wrath on a wing and a prayer

There once was a Prez of the hustle
A faker who flipped for the tussle
The fraud rose to fame
On a lowdown blame game
Browning belts with his Buck's fascia muscle

There once was a Prez of pure gloss
Who suffered a pandemic loss
He buttered the asses
Of sitting-duck masses
With creamy white dictator's sauce

There once was a POTUS pretender
A charlatan repeat offender
As a playacting poser
And ham-it-up hoser
He reveled in spurious splendor

There once was a Prez plainly slow
A dunce playing dumb just for show
Trying hard to look clever
Proved a useless endeavor
For a clod clearly not in the know

There once was a POTUS uncredible
Who paltered keen crock undetectable
Until one awful day
On pandemic display
His whoppers flopped clearly untenable

There once was a Prez out for blood
In the dog-eat-dog two-party mud
As a GOP mauler
In his chichi wolf collar
He bonked spaced-out skulls with a thud

There once was a Prez getting kicked
By a virus that had his ass licked
As a masked profiteer
Shedding counterfeit tears
He crowed at the sad sacks he tricked

There once was a Prez who bucked WHO
Balls deep in the dank doggy do
Only those staying woke
Got the gibe in his joke
Of a pooch pathogenically screwed

There once was a Prez of who knew
With a lower-than-average IQ
As a Mouseketeer sage
Half a tot’s mental age
He brainstormed like Mr. Magoo

There once was a Prez spun a virus
In tweets his varlets found desirous
As their microbe-in-chief
Backing pathogen grief
He twerked like a crazed Miley Cyrus

There once was a POTUS at large
As noxious as sludge on a barge
At his dregs of command
Filthy dross stained the land
From the mucky curmudgeon in charge

There once was a POTUS wet dream
A fuck fest much worse than it seemed
His green light to plunder
Tore Yankees asunder
In two-party dingaling cream

There once was a POTUS of vagaries
A capricious porker of fakeries
His lubricious words
Dropped ticklish turds
On droves of Orwellian peccaries

There once was a Prez like a Roman
A rampaging flesh-peddling showman
From his emperor’s throne
Of bisellium stone
He skippered ram ships of ill omen

There once was a POTUS to pity
For his tweet down in Super Bowl city
Over rainbows long gone
The chief got it all wrong
Sending KC some pigskin tough titty

There once was POTUS game changer
A clear and ad hoc present danger
As a schismatic oaf
He pinched a cracked loaf
Like a dog in a pile-of-poo manger

There once was a Prez full of swagger
Who cut off cussed heads with a dagger
As the gray matter rolled
He aggrandized his fold
With terpitude sundered to stagger

There once was a Prez kleptocrat
Who thunk like a two-timing rat
A cool Judas kiss
And nose for gold bricks
Loomed large in his belfry of bats

There once was a Prez of acquittal
Who played his skin flute like a fiddle
Drawing bows meant for kings
He struck perfect-fifth strings
In lopsided notes lubed with spittle

There once was a fey nation roiling
In partisan moats sadly soiling
With a new skip in town
They burned all bridges down
In a siege of republic recoiling

There once was a Prez getting off
Ripping rivalrous ass with a scoff
Riding high on the hog
He cornholed like a dog
In trenchant and truculent troughs

There once was a POTUS grandstanding
A master of crowds less demanding
They oohed and they aahed
Their highflying god
En route to a nasty crash landing

There once was a Prez locked and loaded
Who made mice of men plainly goaded
For the art of his spiel
He ate lamb every meal
Chawing fava beans fibs had eroded

There once was a POTUS backtracker
A backbiting backstabbing slacker
Like maggots chaw meats
They ate up his tweets
To hovel their moral code hacker

There once was a Prez got the boot
For crimes he could not give a hoot
Using partisan graft
He gave one side the shaft
And dallied balls deep in the loot

There once was sham POTUS trial
For a Prez in the wrong by a mile
Although guilty as sin
The old crook would still win
By a sly senatorial smile

There once was a Prez prone to puffing
A wolf cowing hogs with loud huffing
When he lied through his fangs
All his scared piglets sang
The praises of partisan roughing

There once was a Prez of vulgarity
A moot keystone cop of hilarity
His boorish Trump brand
Once shackled the land
In handcuffs of wicked disparity

There once was a crass POTUS rascal
As false as a smooth Eddie Haskell
His gift for sleek gab
Drove true hee-haws mad
For Trump's disfranchised debacle

There once was a Prez had ‘em suckered
At powwows where assholes got puckered
They raved at his rants
Lubed up for romance
Getting fucked in the butts until tuckered

There once was a POTUS so vile
His ass crack looked just like a smile
His politic cronies
And billionaire phonies
Hauled Trump to the top by a mile

There once was a mean POTUS bully
Who fashioned himself wild and woolly
His shoot ‘em up days
In the populist craze
Gave his rank and file swains a big woody

There once was a POTUS so droll
He romped as a bad-tempered troll
His wet fat-cat semen
Spritzed stout as a demon
In bedwetting surged for lost souls

There once was a White House most raven
A cruel clacking cave for the craven
On Trump's isle of Moreau
Creatures gnarled head to toe
Extolled the brute's monster-mash haven

There once was a stormy debate
Egged on by the POTUS of hate
Fanning flames of disdain
He sparked deadly chicane
From his orb of orgastic complaint

There once was a POTUS so crass
He trolled from a vent in his ass
With loose humming lips
He hymned Let 'er Rip
Setting fire to Republican gas

There once was a POTUS so heinous
He mad-dogged fresh fibs from his anus
As a dirty old skunk
Pooping moist stinky junk
His peddled his tang to the brainless

There once was a fist-pumping POTUS
Who chewed up the land like a locust
His deft Kung Fu craze
Launched meine Führer ways
In hat tricks of pert hocus-pocus

There once was a snug upper crust
Pounding serfs to praetorian dust
The carte blanche jet-setters
Had boors tarred and feathered
Whilst hollering in-Trump-we-trust

There once was a massive blue wave
On the crest of high hopes it might save
But the swell petered out
On a whitecap of doubt
Making Trump the grand duke of his day

There once was a brash POTUS oaf
Who blatantly brushed off his oath
As a bombastic kaiser
With fans none the wiser
He pinched off a posh piddler's loaf

There once was a five-alarm blaze
Flaring up in a Donald Trump craze
At the core of the kindling
Burned a Hitleresque swindling
Of firebugs caught in the haze

There once was a messed up appointment
By the Prez of backroom anointment
His unguent of choice
Gave tossers a voice
In sinister deals of deployment

There once was a Donald Trump possum
As fictile as thistles in blossom
When it came to the law
It stuck deep in the craw
That his term underscored scant precaution

There once was a Prez of pee showers
Who sent himself chocolate and flowers
Sprucely coiffed and perfumed
His self-thankfulness bloomed
In the Me-Myself-I Trumpland Towers

There once was a cutthroat Don Ripper
Who savagely stroked his big dipper
Growing hard with delight
He slashed foes left and right
Till his brass balls got caught the zipper

There once was a land of Joe Schmos
Getting bitch slapped under the nose
The claws in the cuffing
Of swampland rebuffing
Left prefrontal lobes in repose

There once were Trump grifters galore
Who got richer than ever before
With their pop at the top
They played shop till you drop
Owning every last dime in the store

There once was a POTUS heat missile
A milk dud of dirty dismissal
His quick bull's-eyed darts
Nailed hole-in-one farts
As shrill as a backstabber's whistle

There once was a Prez of indictment
Wolfing dog-eat-dog treats of enticement
Ticking two-timing taps
He disowned the bad raps
In his dubious den of confinement

There once was a Prez on the run
Tired out from the lies he had spun
In the Kremlin abyss
He kept taking a piss
Getting soaked by his Red water gun

There once was a Molotov Yankee
Of Russian-roulette hanky-panky
He lobbed cocktail clunkers
From chill T-bomb bunkers
Inscribed with his name Mr. Cranky

There once was a Prez of tough titty
Who fussed for the sake of self-pity
As a silver-spoon boomer
Bouncing blameless ill humor
He carped at inane nitty-gritty

There was was a Prez prone to drowning
In cesspools of fibs so astounding
Getting way out of line
He left clear tracks and sign
Of doublespeak all too confounding

There once was a Prez on the take
Who liked to burn schmoes at the stake
As a flame-throwing winner
Sousing stiffs in paint thinner
He gave them the old shake and bake

There once was a Trump drooling demon
Who gave girls the gift of his semen
With a snort and a sniffle
He launched pre-POTUS missile
From suites made for horny-dog heathen

There once was a POTUS Jim-dandy
A peeping-Tom hooked on eye candy
Snorting Adderall pills
Gave his blue balls cheap thrills
And made the horndog extra randy

There once was a POTUS brassbound
In the ways of an old Basset Hound
As a derring-do dog
Living high on the hog
He licked his fat chops with a frown

There once was a flush POTUS mole
With big Russian dicks up his hole
As a crass counterspy
Vladdy spunk in his eye
He sold out his own quisling soul

The once was a Prez on the edge
Of a monkey-see-monkey-do ledge
On a last ticket ride
With bag rats by his side
He flubbed with a flawed last-ditch wedge

There once was a nightmarish reign
By a mobster who’d long gone insane
Rolling dice fast and loose
He ran wild in the roost
Then fell down his short one-term drain

There once was a clear POTUS flop
Filling fans with his smooth creamy slop
As their ratings-war king
With “you’re fired” boob-tube bling
They chug-a-lugged every last drop

There once were god-awful news flashes
Of GOP-Democrat clashes
Such an old party trick
Let the Don dip his wick
In the shanks of Joe Schmoes paying taxes

There once was a Prez on the ropes
In a bout billed the Trump soak-a-dope
His below-the-belt hooks
Cushioned cover-up crooks
But the switch-hitting brawler got smoked

There once was a news-trolling nation
Of curs hooked on sharp confrontation
Their crescendo of jeers
Fell on flat tone-deaf ears
In an opus of combat cremation

There once was a daunting reality
Of a tragic Trump two-term fatality
Such a morbid conception
Laid bare an infection
Of round-the-bend voter calamity

There once was despicable Don
A king with a hard-on for pawns
Every clandestine move
In the emperor’s groove
Augured gags for his deep-throating throng

There once was a Prez of disasters
Who packed sour notes to the rafters
Bred with ice in his veins
He yanked one-sided chains
Making firm Chomsky's rule of the masters

There once was a Prez poised to tumble
For high crimes and proneness to rumble
Just like Mr. Magoo
With a blind spot or two
He fingered himself with each stumble

There once was a Prez under fire
For being a big old fat liar
He would hog-tie his mother
For the truth it might smother
And shred her to bones in the brier

There once was a Prez of mean tweets
A crosspatch in razor-sharp cleats
And with each toxic kick
The blood rushed to his dick
Sending chills to the nips of his teats

There once was a Prez near the end
An also-ran playing pretend
His failed re-election
Insured no protection
From the oath he would never defend

There once was a Prez of pure fiction
A wildcat of true dereliction
His sense of no shame
And bias to blame
Made him Scar-like in every depiction

There once was a Prez who chummed sharks
In frenzies of fly-by-night larks
With barb-baited swill
He lured his glazed shill
To the bowels of insular arks

There once was a Prez beyond hope
A dazed and confused misanthrope
Like a doomed General Custer
Riding high on blank bluster
He charged up his down periscope

There once was a Prez bounced right back
With a mean chicken-livered attack
When it came to defeat
He jumped fast to his feet
Urping jive as a matter of fact

There once was a foxy Trump daughter
Whose daddy led sheeples to slaughter
As a princess she cooed
But as devil child drooled
For wealth that made wicked mouths water

There once was a Prez shitting bricks
For calumnies he could not fix
In fudge-packing sessions
Of turncoat transgressions
He wrecked the whole works just for kicks

There once was a POTUS outlaw
A scamp on his final last straw
As a lawless Paul Bunyan
And cold-blooded gunman
His con jobs came quick on the draw

There once was a Prez of dissention
Deep discord his keynote intention
Pitting left against right
He creamed hard with delight
In deals of raw anal retention

There once was a Prez for dull loonies
Thick hicks dwelling deep in the boonies
With brains made of mush
They rooted and gushed
For the smack of their ringmaster’s hooey

There once was a Prez of goon gambits
Who ran with a scab squad of bandits
His recreant pappies
Wore top-scarer nappies
Pantloaded on Mobster's Inc. planets

There once was a Prez would be king
A fat gangster rat of gauche bling
In a treehouse of crooks
He swung big meaty hooks
Consuming his gimps like The Thing

There once was a Prez hanging on
By the skin of his VIP dong
He liked to pretend
He would win in the end
But he met the same fate as King Kong

There once was a Prez rolling dice
A chieftain of crap-shooting vice
His all-in excretion
Of BM completion
Turned taxpayers into blind mice

There once was a a Prez splitting sides
With squalls of bipartisan tides
Giving good form a rest
He put Yanks to the test
From his war room of rule and divide

There once was a Prez getting pinched
In the great hallowed halls he once cinched
Such a droll wooden nickel
Put his tribe in a pickle
For the wraiths of a chief duly lynched

There once was a Prez on the take
Whose crafty shell game took the cake
His trademark Trump icing
Though rich and enticing
Gave skeptics a bad bellyache

There once was a Prez lookin' old
Somewhat somber, rotund, and less bold
Whipping ass at his age
Meant the anger still raged
From a childhood of fatherless gold

There once was a Prez went down swingin'
Screaming loud as the fat lady singin'
He told tales till the fall
Of his last curtain call
When for-whom-the-bell-tolls started ringin'

There once was a Prez born to chum
Plucking silver harpoons form his bum
His bilge-water rise
On a dead sea of lies
Cast him down with the rock-bottom scum

There once was a Prez got the boot
When he outed himself as a brute
With his library shuttered
And legacy smothered
He scrammed like a dog on the scoot

There once was a Prez who got booed
By hardball fans not in the mood
The point of their jeers
Jabbing deaf slimeball ears
Clocked the pitch of a nation unglued

There once was a Prez of impeachment
Fending blowback for what-a-dick treatment
Such a fine FUBAR mess
For a creep who cared less
In his war of home-grown disagreement

There once was a Prez who got kicked
By head counts of taxpayers he dicked
When he whiffed on two terms
All the GOP worms
Wiggled out of the ass they had licked

There once was a POTUS bad speller
Whose chitter became a bestseller
As a writer he flopped
But his words never stopped
Droning on like a puerile propeller

There once was a Prez out of gas
A clunker with lead in his ass
Flagging checkered disgrace
He revved up for the race
But the junk in his trunk made him crash

There once was a Prez beyond reach
A king who could not be impeached
The clout in his name
Sired from trite TV fame
Sucked the air out of oaths he had breached

There once was a Prez of the blurt
A dunce who dug up his own dirt
The mass of his trap
And bulk of his crap
Made it hard for his ass not to squirt

There once was a Prez of the hoax
Who fooled some real chicken-shit folks
His nose for deflection
Commoved his erection
For bums only bullshit could coax

There once was a Prez of the freeze
Pulling rank any way that he pleased
With a wink and a lie
He made eye for an eye
His signature tit-for-tat squeeze

There once was a Prez born to rattle
Coiled stiffly and ready for battle
With the wits of a tyke
But a diamondback's strike
His venom spread poisonous prattle

There once was a Prez like a turd
At the top of a pile so absurd
We should have all known
In the truth-free Trump zone
Rule of law would become less preferred

There once was a Prez of division
Who made one pernicious incision
He contrived his attack
Like a surgical quack
With divide and then conquer precision

There once was a Prez sitting duck
A bird of prey shit out of luck
With his briefs in a twist
He looked constantly pissed
His balls flapping free in the muck

There once was a POTUS of sneering
At patriots shell-shocked and tearing
His full faithless measure
Of bad-mouthing pleasure
Kept every last sicko fan cheering

There once was a Prez just like you
With plenty of pooches to screw
All too famously bad
My what big balls he had
In baroque and beastly plain view

There once was a Prez who knew nothing
A klutz dodging truth without blushing
As a mum Sergeant Shultz
He furtively waltzed
To the beat of dead air darkly gushing

There once was a Prez laughing stock
A clown breaking bad round the clock
For his tommyrot dance
Bozo pooped down his pants
Then pulled out his doo-doo-stained cock

There once was a Prez of inflictions
A gascon of self-contradictions
His deplorables drooled
For hissy fits ruled
By abracadabra conniptions

There once was a Prez of bad turns
Dispensing the worst kind of burns
Hs nerve-ending waste
In fourth-degree haste
Gave lame-brains the least of concerns

There once was a Prez had ‘em fooled
A loadstone for dunces who drooled
Riding high on his tumbrel
They roared for the rumble
Of turbofan fury uncooled

There once was a Prez of the roast
Who stirred hateful shit coast to coast
His flotsam of words
Like rancorous turds
Assuaged vulgar asswipes the most

There once was a fine POTUS mess
A fell stroke of fate more or less
In the palm of his hands
His lobotomized fans
Got shredded in prefrontal chess

There once was Prez broke the rules
A scofflaw with nothing to lose
While shaking his ass
He sacked the mid-class
Fooled again by the two-party ruse

There once was a Prez of the tussle
A blitzkrieging brute born to bustle
Rolling howitzer style
He expunged with a smile
The haggard remains of his hustle

There once was a Prez turned to gold
His stinking and shambolic load
He ran wild in the roost
Like a dullard seduced
By the lies only he could have told

There once was a POTUS of strange
A cutthroat completely deranged
Working out of his home
In the grim Trumper Dome
He flipped like a pile of loose change

There once was a Prez full of fury
A go-getter prone to the scurry
His eyes told the story
Of curdled self-glory
And bigwigs are beyond bootless worry

There once was a Prez losing polls
Getting raked over out-to-lunch coals
His masterful strokes
Once fooled a few folks
But that's how pallucidness rolls

There once was a POTUS of rage
A whelp never coming of age
Stropping claws set on treason
He picked fights for no reason
As lone as wolves loosed from their cage

There once was a Prez of vexed flunkies
A tribe of desensitized junkies
They vocalized loudly
And chest-pounded proudly
As rabid as teeth-baring monkeys

There once was a Prez of misfeasance
A goldbricker gutted by grievance
Hellbent on hell raising
He governed guns blazing
In fits of harebrained inconvenience

There once was a Prez of the hissy
A loudmouth most raucously prissy
Belching sarcastic wit
He stirred up hawkish shit
With the recreant heart of sissy

There once was a POTUS nosediving
In banzai of his own contriving
Plunging pecker half-hard
He dropped trou no holds barred
But crashed with no chance of surviving

There once was a vile POTUS whore
A strumpet who waged faithless war
Seeping slime like a snail
He breached big as a whale
Till the crud from his cunt washed ashore

There once was a Prez out of time
A boss of big touch-and-go crime
He dry humped the throne
Then went limp like Capone
With rot playing tricks on his mind

There once was a Prez made of stone
Tossing bourgeoisie helots bare bone
He flogged ass with a grin
But his paydirt wore thin
With a rallying cry to dethrone

There once was a POTUS rejected
For cowardly fraud he perfected
He would cheat for the win
But free votes pulled the pin
On getting the crook reelected

There once was a POTUS big spender
A raunchy and reckless pretender
He burned backer riches
Like crack-whoring bitches
In spread-eagled fudge-packing splendor

There once was a POTUS whitewasher
A smoke-blowing bum-steering josher
He yanked on limp chains
In a swamp never drained
Going drag as a Bill of Rights quasher

There once was a Prez struck a nerve
In denizens lost on the curve
With impeccable fury
Fueled by riotous worry
He shored up his Mein Kampf Reserve